Goals--September 24th Version

I realized today that I need to set some goals for myself.  I've been kind of lost since I met my 10% goal a month and a half ago.  I have no goals.  I have no goals set, nothing to look forward to...

So here I go.

1-I have a goal of by Thanksgiving having lost 60 lbs total.
2-I have a goal to exercise 3-4 days a week for at least 45 minutes each
3-I have a goal to try at least one new WW recipe a week.
4-I have a goal to learn to look t myself as someone other than the fat girl I see in the mirror.

Goal#1 involves losing another 15 lb in a little over 2 months.  Totally doable if I get back on plan.
Goal#2 will help me meet goal #1. 
Goal #3--I'm getting bored with the same old, same old.
Goal #4--I had a work friend tell me that I'm too hard on myself.  People tell me I'm looking good but all I can see is the chunky girl with flabby thighs.  I think this will be the hardest goal to meet!   Wish me luck!

Disappointed in myself

A 1 lb loss this week??  You've got to be kidding me!!!  That was my first thought after the nice lady (Terri) at Weight Watchers said "great job, down 1 lb"  Seriously, great job?  It's my lowest loss yet.  I was really thinking that the scale was wrong  Then I got thinking...

Sure, I exercised Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but then I didn't the rest of the week.   My eating wasn't so great.  We went out for dinner and I didn't take my WW book.  The things I ate at the restaurants weren't as healthy of choices as I could have picked.  My Applebees soup and sandwich were 14 points total!  Eek!  And that was lunch.

This week, I vow to eat better, exercise more and be real with myself.  There is no reason to cheat myself.

I took a 2.5 mile walk tonight and it felt great!   The nights are getting cooler and darker earlier.  I'm loving my new town for taking walks.  The streets are safe for walking and the park is a great work out!

Weekend Ramblings

Weekends are hard for me on WW!  I want to cook yummy foods and munch on snacky foods.  I want to get a lemon icecream from Harold's Dairy Delight (only available on weekends).  I don't want to track points (and end up not tracking, just watching).  Why do my WW meetings have to be on a Monday?

People keep telling me that I'm looking good, but I still see the Fat Girl in the mirror.  In my brain, I know I'm losing weight and look a lot better, but in the mirror I don't see that.  I still see the Fat Girl with the flabby thighs and arms that need toning.  I see the pouch of stomach fat that hasn't budged and all of the excess stomach skin from carrying Kaylee.  I sure wish that Fat Girl would go away.

Learning Curve

Now that fall weather is here, I'm having to learn to cook and stay on plan all over again.  I've been on WW for 17 weeks now, but all of those weeks have been summer months, cooking summer foods.   It sounds weird, even to me, that there is such a thing as summer foods, fall foods, etc.  As the days get cooler and the evenings get darker I don't want to grill dinner.  I long to use the crock pot to make something hardy and yummy.  I want to feel the heat of the oven as I smell something great cooking in it.  The problem is, I don't know what to cook.  I find myself surfing websites, checking out blogs and doing a lot of thinking.

Last night, I baked pork chops with shake and bake Parmesan with Winter squash and mashed potatoes.  Too bad I didn't take the time to eat it before taking off for Zumba!

Martin requested meat loaf... turkey meat loaf to be exact.  Like any committed WW follower with E-tools, I searched the WW website for a great recipe.  It had good reviews, incorporated veggies and better yet, I had the stuff in my house!  I thought it was really good, better than I expected, honestly.  The WW recipe was a lot more complicated than a traditional meatloaf, but I enjoyed the sauteed onions, garlic and colored peppers...  I WILL make it again, but next time it will have more spices in it. 

I took a night off of exercise tonight.  Zumba really kicked my rear last night.  I did manage to run up and down the stairs at work about a dozen times today, carrying files and mail.

What's for dinner???

That's a question that pops up at our house a lot.  Keeping on track with healthy food isn't always easy.  Tonight, we're having baked squash, Parmesan Shake & Bake pork chops and some sort of potato. 

Lunch wasn't so easy to keep on track.  My boss took me out to lunch at a restaurant that isn't the easiest to stay on track.  I did only eat a big salad, 1 cup of cream of broccoli soup and ONE chicken wing.  I just calculated and OUCH 11 points for lunch!!

I'm going to torture myself again.  Zumba from 7-8 pm.  :-)  My body is just feeling better from the last time!

Why do I do this?

I don't want to make my 4 year old daughter body obsessed with weight, but I do want her to realize how the choices she makes effect things.   We talk about healthier choices and exercise.  I've always been a couch potato, but in order to make her see the benefits of exercise I have to practice what I preach.

I want to be around for a long time, to see my baby grow up, become a mom...    Kaylee tells people "My mom goes to Weight Watchers to be healthy".  She'll tell me "Mom that's too many points" or "Mom, you get lots of points for that." 

Martin totally supports me in my journey.  My cheering section makes me continue on this journey.

Going from a 26 pant to a 22 was also a great feeling!  I can't believe I now wear a XL shirt!!!

Beginning my journey to a healthier ME

I FINALLY got fed up with being fat.  I weighed in for a Biggest Loser contest at work and tipped the scales at 303 lbs!  That was a really big shock to me.  I had teetered at the 300 lb mark for quite a while, but somehow I fell to the OVER 300 lb mark.  That scared me!

At my annual gyno physical, the Nurse Practioner suggested I look into bariatric surgery.  Really???  I hadn't tried that hard to lose weight.  I just didn't know how.  After weeks of thinking about it, I scheduled an appointment to research bariatric surgery.  After attending the seminar, I was recharged.  I could do this.  Did I want the Sleeve?  or did I want Lap Band?  Big decisions, but first I needed the support of my family doctor.

My family Nurse Practioner was less than excited to encourage me to have bariatric surgery.  She gave me info on a 1500 calorie diet, but promised to submit a pre-auth to my HMO.  A month later, my HMO denied bariatric surgery.  I was deflated!  What was I supposed to do now?

An appointment to my family FNP brought about the suggestion to join Weight Watchers.  I can't diet!?!  Why would this work? Maybe this would convince the HMO to pay for the surgery?  I saw a commercial for WW and it talked about joining for free.  Well, what did I have to lose?

I attended my first WW meeting on May 24, 2010.  I still wasn't convinced, but decided to follow the plan religiously.  Fast forward 16 weeks.  As of today, I have lost 43 lbs!  I now weigh in at 259 lbs!

What have I got to lose?  Being the fat girl.  I have a long way to go, but I'll get there.  I'm worth the journey!